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Published dispatches / 4
Dispatches filed under Celeste’s Fuckfluencer Feed.
Oh, sweetie, let’s sit down and have a little heart-to-heart before you smudge that overpriced lip balm on your "effortless" face. I’ve been watching this whole clean girl aesthetic critique unfold from my velvet throne, and honestly? It’s giving me a massive migraine. You…
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Most of the Zoom-zombies you work with dress to disappear. They pick shades of beige and navy that blend into the cubicle walls because they’ve been hashtaglobotomized into believing that looking "professional" means being invisible. But I don’t play by their anal-manual. When I…
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Venomous Sin Declares War on the plastic nightmare of curated perfection. You know the type—those filterfucked perfection queens scrolling through life with their lips plumped, lashes eternal, and every sunrise filtered to hell. It's not beauty; it's a goddamn religion. Welcome to the Plastic…
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Let me start with my signature reality check: "Believe all women" – except when they're lying for clout. And honey, half these hashtag-haloed angels wouldn't know real trauma if it slapped them across their filtered faces. Here's the thing that makes me want to…
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